I've been thinking.
All of this self-improvement has me wondering, why am I doing this? This has been cooking under the surface for some time, but smacked me in the face Sunday during service. Instead of reciting the Apostle's Creed (which we sang earlier), we recited 1 Corinthians 13 before Communion. We've been spending considerable time looking at Christian Love and examining what this means - and this chapter is by no means unfamiliar to anyone who has spent a length of time in any church.
But it hit me, 13:8 - Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.
Why do I do what I do? Why do I kill myself to earn a Master's degree? Listen to NPR? Read CNN? Educate myself on dangers associated with foods? Why do I work so hard to be a better person???? Because, if I'm doing this all for me - or even worse, for the world - it's worthless. It is of No Eternal Value. It will die when I die. Albeit I may die old with fantastic skin and lots of stories (or get hit on the head next week by a flaming toilet seat). But what does it matter?
The magic question is: Am I glorifying God with my life? How is my quest to be the best person that I can be Loving Others as Christ would love them?
How does one reconcile self-improvement with dying to oneself?
I Corinthians 6:19-20 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
Psalm 82:5 They have neither knowledge nor understanding,
they walk about in darkness;
all the foundations of the earth are shaken.
Luke 8:13-14 But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”
James 4:6 & 10 But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.
*A final thought to ponder: I can do nothing to save myself. I have broken God's design for me and rely solely on Him. Anything I try to do on my own for my own sake will be a vain effort ending in frustration, emptiness, or disappointment.
So, Jesus, I need You. Even when (no, especially when) I act or think like I've got myself all under control, I need you. Help me to bring you glory through my life.
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I suggest you also read Lauren Winner's Mudhouse Sabbath, where she thinks about the ways personal disciplines can bring us closer to God.
ReplyDeleteBought the book!!! And have read the intro... But, it's made it to my stack of books I INTEND to read (vs. would LIKE to read). I took it on my travels, but somehow never had time. Someday.
ReplyDeleteHello, I'm an IB (International Baccalaureate) student. Isn't it a deep coincidence that I just recently went through all that questioning you mentioned above? Why do I burn myself out studying, why do I do all of these things...?
ReplyDeleteMy point of view is that if you are questioning what you are doing, you may not be on your True Path so to speak, so shaking your own ground is fine if it leads you where you should really be. However if you feel you already are on the right path, then by all means continue to do it, but as the saying goes -- do what you love and love what you do. If there is no love in what you are doing, then seek another path. There IS value if you are acting upon love.
I wish to add that it is silly to think that you can do "nothing" to save yourself. Aaaackkkk.
You are a relfection of God and God has given you profound potential. Who says you can't do anything to save yourself? Who made you believe that? That's taking your personal power away from you. You won't get very far thinking in this manner.
Think about it in this way. To be able to help/save others, YOU need to be able to help/save yourself FIRST. How do you think that Jesus was able to save you? By being capable of saving himself first. Okay, you could say "oh but he's divine" and whatever but remember that he came to us in human form. God can and will save you, but you must save yourself too.
It is like anorexics. They are mentally sick and many of them do not help themselves (either by figuring out how to recover on their own, or by seeking external help). God isn't just going to miraculously fix them out of nowhere, they must make the decision to get better. Here's an interesting quote from a book called "Wasted," by Marya Hornbacher:
"There is a self-perpetuating belief that one simply cannot help it, and this is very dangerous. It becomes an identity in and of itself. It becomes its own religion, and you wait for salvation, and you wait, and wait, and wait, and DO NOT save yourself. If you saved yourself, and did not wait for salvation, you'd be self-sufficient. How dull."
Of course, she's just being bitingly sarcastic about the "how dull." In any case Marya WAS anorexic, but we could easily compare this description to many other issues in life. Food for thought. ;)
Have a wonderful day! Many blessings.
Check this out :)
www.warriorsoflove.com/What%20Is%20Spirituality%20-%20You%20Are%20Source.html
Ana,
ReplyDeleteThank you for giving me more to think about. I may have to keep pondering a respond more fully later. But, here is my initial response:
(Reference the 3rd paragraph of posting)This is a self-examination of my MOTIVES behind all of my efforts to be as healthy, educated, cultured, & beautiful that I can be. I need to stop and ask myself (many times): Why am I doing this?? Because, in all honesty, if I'm not careful, I will turn myself into my own god. I am my own idol. This is where self-improvement turns sour.
The ultimate goal and mission of my life should be to honor God with all I do. He created me for His Glory. Can I do that with my life? With my self improvement? Yes! Do I? Not so much. This is the nasty cycle of wanting to love God above all else, but really being most concerned with my self-interest.
In regards to my 'Saving Myself': when it comes to salvation, to Eternal Life, the End All Be All. I cannot do it. I CANNOT save myself. No matter how good of a person I try to make myself become, I will never reach God's standard of perfection. Because I'm a mess. This is where Jesus comes in to play. I need him. I can't be saved with out him. And, this is what matters most in this life.
Can I be the best person that God created me to be? Absolutely! But, getting so wrapped up in myself and my self interests is not the way to accommplish that. This is a matter of my heart, and why I make the choices that I do.